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Olá, meu amor!

Olhando pra trás nesse tempo todo que estivemos juntos, um arco-íris se forma. Só que ele não tem só 7 cores. Ele começou com Seven, mas ele foi ganhando outros matizes, e não só cores, ele se completava com cheiros, com texturas. Ele virava um caleidoscópio e a gente se enxergava e a gente se entregava. Foi puro e honesto e sincero, mas não foi também o oposto, por vezes?

Lembro da sua carinha surpresa e feliz, quando eu falei que não ia mais pra Floripa, pra poder investir em alguma coisa que eu não tinha certeza se seria verdadeira. "Você nem me conhece!" Minha primeira reação foi te contar que eu viajaria em menos de um ano. E pra você aquilo não importava. Você era carpe diem e o ano seguinte estava universos de distância. No fundo, eu contei aquilo, meio sem fé. Algo tão intenso, que começa assim, em dois dias, iria durar até o ano que vem? Against all odds (and evens) durou.

Você me proporcionou coisas que eu não conseguiria nem listar. Muitas coisas doces, outras amargas. Mas não é assim a vida? Com seus altos e baixos? Como esperar ver apenas um lado da moeda? Você me fez mais forte, mais voraz, você me fez feliz. E ainda faz.

Realmente não ficaram muitas mágoas. As que ficaram o tempo vai apagando, desde que a gente cultive as boas memórias e balize a nossa nova relação nessa base que criamos. Sei que você se esforçou e cresceu, muitas vezes à força. Eu não me dobrava como mato ao vento, eu endurecia, e você me entendia e dançava a dança, e essa era a nossa grande aventura, ao som do "ritmo antigo". Eu te fiz mais rico e reconheci em cada detalhe o seu amor e sua dedicação. Era exatamente esses detalhes que me faziam querer você mais e mais, e eram eles que machucavam mais, nas suas desatenções. 

Sim, a vida é um rio e a gente sabe onde ele vai dar, mesmo sem saber direito como, é fluído, paciente, rola pedras, contorna, vira lago, vira ravina.E somos também ponte. Te levei a um novo lugar e espero que você goste e saiba como se comportar. Você também me levou. Estou nele e vou adiante. Eu escolhi um caminho de aprendizado, um exílio necessário, para poder me encontrar e poder desenvolver certas coisas das quais eu havia me distanciado no último ano. A pedra a qual eu me seguro, diria Melua, "imagine if you let go". Você também vai crescer, tenho certeza, se estiver disposto a isso e vamos rir muito e talvez chorar, mesmo com a distância, sobre tudo o que for acontecendo. O amor, posto que é sincero, esse fica. Ele vira coisas bonitas.

Vou tentar voltar mais forte, mais justo, mais leve. Com certezas as novas perspectivas vão estar abundantes. E vou tentar acima de tudo ser mais sábio. Amo-te como sempre amei e desejo que você fique, mas que possa mesmo assim viajar para novas paragens, que vá além dos seus limites e seja mais e mais o ser humano do qual eu e as pessoas que te amam se orgulham. (E lembre-se de não subestimar as pessoas e de levar o guarda-chuva e o agasalho hehe)

O fim (só que não)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ22QkXOxBg

The philosophy of the bridge: quantum and God's dice

I was checking the blogs I follow and I was so amazed when I read a friend's and he was mentioning me and my blog in his post. I was honored and felt like I needed to expand more on what he called my theory of connections. It is not so common to find essay-type texts here, but I couldn't help it. One day I may be able to answer him why we have connected.
Let me start with some name-giving and I will get some Wikipedia help for that:

“	My greatest concern was what to call it. I thought of calling it ‘information’, but the word was overly used, so I decided to call it ‘uncertainty’. When I discussed it with John von Neumann, he had a better idea. Von Neumann told me, ‘You should call it entropy, for two reasons. In the first place your uncertainty function has been used in statistical mechanics under that name, so it already has a name. In the second place, and more important, nobody knows what entropy really is, so in a debate you will always have the advantage.	”
—Conversation between Claude Shannon and John von Neumann regarding what name to give to the “measure of uncertainty” or attenuation in phone-line signals

There is the physical attraction that can be involved in some or most of human connections, but how can we deal with some feelings when we are not at all physically attracted to someone but s/he just puts us in contact with some mysterious part of the universe, of ourselves. We just think that the person is interesting for what s/he believes, how s/he acts or doesn't. We just can't help considering them intriguing, mindblowing.

There is awareness involved in whatever move we make towards certain people. Connections are deliberate and they are not interest-free. But sometimes, we are just faced with some examples which makes us wonder.

Let's take one example of a situation that happened in my life and think how chance can perform small "miracles" or "tricks" (still not sure how to call them). Uncertain situations leading to successful connections. Entropy? Quite some time ago I was teaching a morning group of students because their teacher had gotten pregnant (it was a surprise because she was over 40 and her husband had already undergone a vasectomy). I was not supposed to be there in the morning because I had a class at lunchtime on the other side of town. The schools were distant and I live in a city whose traffic ranges from terrible to worse. And the Pope was visiting, so they were deviating traffic, changing routes and I was afraid I would never make it. There was a student in the morning class who would always arrive late and leave just before the class finished. She was quiet and I knew little about her. That day I told the students I would finish the class some minutes before the time and would compensate later, because I had to get across the city. Fine, they said and this girl asked me if I wanted a ride. She was driving to the same region I had to go. We could use her radio to check on the best routes. Could I refuse such an offer? I didn't and we went together. We talked about life and I told her something quite personal, I was sick of living where I was living and I wanted to move. She just nodded. The next class, she told me she had a coworker and he was looking for someone to share an apartment. I got his contacts and went there to meet him. I got a mixed impression, but I was not sure I wanted to live with someone like him: older than me, not my type and strong personality. Threre was no physical attaction there. And I just said I needed to think. That same week, the guy with whom I was living set me up. He locked me outside and left me there on purpose for almost one hour. So, I called that older guy and asked if the offer was still on. There were other people I had talked to, so had him, some other closer friends, even one potential romantic partner. But no, I chose that stranger and was willing to take the risks.
The first months were difficult, he had been living alone for quite some time but we hit off from the start. We used to spend hours talking, from sunset to sunrise sometimes. He taught me so much about life. We never had any romantic involvement and we had like three major fights in over five years. The girl, she left the school and we never met again. She never worked in a project with him again either. She just disappeared, after a considerable change in our lives (mine and my roommie's). Wasn't she something like a bridge who served a certain purpose of putting us together?
I am not saying that there is something like a destiny or written rules but out of 18 million people who live in Sao Paulo, why the heck did I end up with this guy? It's statitics, it's chance but it is also something that had everything to go bad and has been wonderful.
Why out of the thousand books, films and plays people produce all over the world I have contact with these ones I read or I am reading and which form my character and my personality, touch me and make me think? I know people in other continents, their dreams and secrets, but I wouldn't know the name of 5 of my neighbors, if you asked me. So why some people and not others? And being these ones, why not celebrate them? Love them or care for them as well as one can?
You see, Dale, a lot of questions, this is (definitely) not the end.